I see me...oh no!

Well there I am. Just a wee girl of about 4-5 years old. Make that a green couch and 2009 and it's my Sweet pea. The resemblance is crazy! And the poor child has my personality too! haha

Forgive

I really don't need to say anything here. Please check out this post from a lovely lady. I know you'll like it.

http://journeythroughgrace.blogspot.com/2009/11/forgiveness.html

Smile

When you smile, the whole world smiles back.

Try it. : )

face hanging down
why?
so many blessings

people to love
and who love you

beautiful sunshine
golden leaves all around
fresh air

warm house
nice car
good job

sound mind
strong body

freedom
peace

Others live in different circumstances. Willingly and not so willingly. Self-inflicted and not. Across the ocean and across the street, there are people battling their own issues. Demons in their own mind. Haunted by things beyond their control. Suffering alone because of the stereotypes pushed upon them. Not able to feel. Unable to feel.

It's a different life. Partially chosen. Most times believed in.

Just one moment...

just one more moment
that’s all that's needed
like wounded soldiers
in need of healing
Nickelback

Wrapped up in a big old hug by someone feeling the way that you do
Words spoken from the same experiences
Common ground
Comfort

I don’t care if you’re the toughest person around
Have seen all kinds of things
Been there, done that
You still need the human touch
A hand on the arm in reassurance
A pat on the back
A hug
A smile
Closeness

Encouragement that you are not in the game alone
There are people who care;
People who are genuine in their words and say them for the right reasons

So just give it one more moment
That’s all you’ll need
The wounds will heal
And you’ll believe

I'm the perfect disaster.
You can’t stop me.
Coming faster and faster.
You just watch me.

I'm supergirl,
I'm everywhere…

Lyrics from Supergirl by Suzie MacNeil

I love these lyrics and never mind that the song is just a blast to dance to.

The first line is so me. Hahaha The perfect disaster. Ah gee…. Always have something going on and half the time it’s a big mess of something but in the end, you can’t stop me, I come out swinging. There’s typically some swearing and few bruises but I’m always stronger out the other side.

Life has been busy. My writing or whatever one would like to call it has kind of taken a backseat. Still important. Always thoughts in my mind, it’s just getting to the computer to write the words, hasn’t been happening.

Second night of the Reserves last night. I already know I’m going to love it. I love the discipline. I love the formalities and the procedure. I think it is going to do a lot for my character development. A lot for how I deal and interact with people. When my head hit the pillow at 1:12 AM I was out like a light. A little slow on the alarm this morning but I only laid there 15 minutes. I had to wake up my eyes as Sweet pea would say. I can’t wait for the next challenge with this.

Still keeping up with my boxing. Not as much as I would like but its happening. I really need to get my basement set up so I can pound on the bag at night when I can’t make it to the gym. I already do the sit-ups and pushups, some free weights… Need a venue to work on technique and strength when I’m home. Sweet pea loves to spar. We do it in the kitchen. She’s a mini-me. I hate to say it but she is her mother’s daughter. Haha

Totally offside here….

The people we meet shape part of us. Our interactions and subsequent reactions drive our relationships in different directions. Sometimes the direction is not something we hope for. Sometimes our words, though intentions are good are not received well because the person isn’t ready to receive them. That’s ok. We remain constant and let the world evolve around us; drinking in more experiences, learning more about ourselves and the dynamics of personality, life experiences, wants, needs, dreams.

I live my life with no regrets. I am who I am…the perfect disaster.

It's been a while...

Been under the weather the past couple of days so I've had lots of time to think between sleeping. So there hasn't been much thinking. hahaha

I'm thinking that I miss my Grammie a lot today. I'm thinking that I'd like to talk to her. Not that I don't talk to her now but there's not much talking back. Atleast not her words, her physical voice. I feel her guiding me all the time but I'd like to hear her voice....touch her hands.

What is it about hands? Seems to be the thing I remember. I remember them crossed on her chest when she passed at the hospital. I remember my Grampie's waving through the air as he painted the living room in his hospital room after his stroke; just before he passed. I remember my buddy's hand on my cheek. The last thing I seem to remember is people's hands. Very bizarre.

Well, all sworn in with the Reserves. Ready to begin my journey there. It's where I need to be. I can feel that.

Reading a lot again lately. Outside the Wire and Fifteen Days. About our men and women in Afghanistan. Very interesting to me. Not just because the whole military thing just might be in my blood but because it explains a lot. It explains the way some people are. It explains how they can bullshit the ones they "love." How they can only think of themselves and what works for them. Not how their actions will affect the people they live with and the extended families. To a degree it can make their actions appear selfish. If I didn't know what I know, I would call them on their bullshit. It's not worth it though, though I considered it today...

14 months as a single lady. You feel that time when you're sick in bed. No hugs. No kiss on the forehead. No, "can I get you anything hun." But I do have a couple great friends who checked on me. That I appreciate immensely.

I think if I remain a single lady next summer I'm going to look at the adoption process. I want Sweet pea to have a sibling. I have the means. I have a ton on support. Most importantly, I have a ton of love to give. I do have my days where I suck at being a Mom but at the end of it all, my Sweet pea knows I love her more than the ocean; bigger than the world. She called me her best friend tonight when I called her. She's my bunny. : )

Well, time for bed again. I think the last time I slept this much I was in high school or something. It's been what my body needed. Perhaps what my mind has needed as well.